Jan 31 – Hospital, friendships & Mum.

31 jan Tonya O'Donnell Cancer in a REd DressWednesday Jan 31st mid day update

Not neutropenic!!
Neutrophils still low but I’m being given injections of something called filgrastim which stimulates your bone marrow into creating more healthy white blood cells. So important for immune system and fighting infection.

I have struggled to fight the infection I came in with properly for that reason.

I have given my body a very stern talking to. It needs to get it’s shit together! When your own body revolts against you that’s just not good form ! Who does it think is in control here eh ?

I’m being pumped full of antibiotics to keep at the infection and I’m hoping the spot breakout subsides asap.

I’m in hospital tonight and might go home tomorrow but it depends on a variety of things.

Felt like a very very long night.
Sleep would help.
My own bed sounds like paradise right now.

Holding images of beautiful sandy beaches, lagoons, mangroves and waving palms of Thailand or the Caribbean in my mind. Destinations to travel to again when this is all over.
Memories of sunshine and ocean that make me smile from my toes to my nose.

I’m running through positive thoughts in my mind. Things that make me happy. Cuddles with my kids. Disney days. Movies in pj’s at home. It’s all about keeping those positive thoughts going isn’t it. Never easy when you aren’t well but so important.

The only way is up … tune … keeps playing in my head lol.

I used the Granny shower. Had to wash my hair in Hibi Scrub and hospital shower gel ha ha. Funny when you get to the point where a decent shampoo is luxury.

A reminder never take anything in life for granted.

Smile always.
Be kind.
Be positive.
Be bold.

Seriously I have amazing friends !!
I had a totally unexpected visit at hospital from one of the most terrific people I know 
She battles her own health issues always with a kickarse attitude. I hope she knows I her lots and am so grateful for the surprise visit.
I’m realising the value of these friends who have real positive attitudes and kickarse mentally and I want to draw them closer to me right now. I need that positivity right now. I feel strong and positive in my mind even if my body is taking a beating but getting some positive energy from other people is of immeasurable value. It just helps to feed my own positive attitude.
In the last week or so I have had home made soup delivered by one of the most terrific ladies I know who I really need to see more of. I had treats delivered in hospital last night by another wonderful friend and of course my Dad has been a legend and been in with important luxuries like a pillow and pants. 
My gorgeous sister in law popped into my house and actually whizzed about cleaning and took some laundry away with her. Really I am truly blessed.  Todays visit was a big surprise too which is super welcome and my friend brought her beautiful daughter with her who is another amazing strong woman.
I did suddenly realise how isolated I was miles from home here in hospital. I didn’t feel beat by that just reminded me how very much I am looking forward to simple home luxuries.  I don’t live in a fancy house but what I do have I am very lucky for and oh a bath just sounds bliss right now !
Nightly Update !
My mum popped over to see me and while she did she brought a bag that my brother & a good friend had sorted for me. OH I am so happy. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I love that my nearest and dearest know just how bonkers I am and how to make me happy. My amazing friend who along with my totally wonderful brother had popped into a nearby clothing store (Matalan) and sorted me out with some awesome new pj’s!!! I now have Elmo Pj’s and they are so fun and bright. Really made me smile and laugh. They also bought me some really big comfy granny pants ! Love them.

Tonya Elmo Pj'sCancer in a red dress takes a new twist ! ha ha. I made everyone on the ward smile too when I rushed into the bathroom to change. Positives!! There are always positives.It was fabulous to see my Mum too. I have given her the most important job in all of this. I have tasked her with the job of looking after my babies while I find the strength to fight this cancer and the subsequent treatments. My mum I know is finding this really hard. I am after all her baby and no Mum want’s to see her baby ill. But I am not a baby or even a kid ad I have babies of my own. Much as my mum’s instinct is to be worried about me my own mother’s instinct takes over all others. I know I need every ounce of my strength both physically and mentally to get through this. I know I will get through. That won’t stop me worrying about how my children are. That I have my Mum around to look after them for me is a weight off my shoulders and such a relief. I know they will be fine at her house when I am not well enough to have them home and I know I can then concentrate on the battle at hand.

It is also always great to see your mum when you aren’t feeling well so hugs from my Mum can never go underestimated in their power. Most importantly though I am so grateful that Mum is looking after my babies while I am not on top form. I will owe us both some really serious beach and sunshine time after all this is done.


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