I can tell you now like lots of other people cancer was something that happened to people you know not you !
What I learnt was is it can happen to you. So please listen to your body if you don’t feel great, be aware of how your body feels and if necessary get yourself checked out.
Life can throw some shit at us but you get your best superhero cape on and face life’s shit with determination, bravery, humour and a smile. Tears and emotion are expected and fine. Rage, shout, scream and cry at the shit but then come out with a positive attitude. Inner strength takes work but knowing there are people around you to support you helps so don’t ever fear reaching out.
I have been pretty lucky timing wise that my family had already planning on a holiday together over the Christmas week. We just turned it into this spectacular super trip that meant so much for all of us given the bomb that is Cancer that has exploded into our lives. Being in the sunshine always makes you feel good. It sort of charges your batteries up. Time with family is also something that is so precious. Mix that in with a good helping of Disney Magic and it makes for just the best opportunity for me to get my head together and sort myself out for times ahead.
I have managed to get quite a bit of alone time. I am not sleeping too well but that is ok. I get up and I go sit out on the balcony in the sun and can begin to think things through and settle myself into a good place to face what’s coming. I am getting battle ready. That in itself is kind of exhausting but as each day goes by I become strangely calm.
I can’t work out why. Is it some weird sort of denial ? I don’t think so. Is it just that you realise that you can’t control this thing and it isn’t a dream so you just know you have no choice but to deal with it it? I am not sure I have that answer yet but I do know that I feel strangely calm. I feel determined. I know with unwavering certainty that no matter what everything is going to be ok. I know there will be tough days. Days I feel like crying and get emotional but I know I will handle it. I know that once I have had my cry I will come back with humour and determination.
It will all be part of the story.