So it’s the last week of cycle 4. Next week is cycle 5.
So far no trips to hospital despite ending up with a chest infection. I visited my GP nd rocked a hat !! My GP gave me antibiotics and although my chest feels tight I know the chemo crash is getting better. I’m watching my temp so I don’t go downhill. I’m coping!! Even if it means taking sanitiser everywhere with me!
Slightly lower dose has meant the shit hasn’t been quite as deep deep shit (shit scale 10) as the first two rounds. Both of which resulted in infections which hospitalised me. These last two have been manageable shit (shit scale 7). Still awful on the very worst days. Quite a few days where I actually cried with pain and sickness but it passed and finally coming out the other end I have found a few days where the shit scale only registers a 4 or 5. Meaning I have been able to have the kids sleepover.
I have missed my kids so much.
So much of the first 10 weeks is a blur. A fuzzy time of being so ill there are days I don’t remember. All that time the kids missed being at home and I missed them so much. They pretty much moved in with their grandparents. They love it there but they really miss me and home and I miss them so much.
Today was a rare gem of the last few months. A day out. We didn’t do anything too strenuous. Just cinema and a meal. Not too much walking. I ache now. The chemo makes your body feel like you are an old person. Tired and achey all the time. I walk slowly. I paid for the VIP seats in the cinema so I could recline a bit. Totally worth it.
Funny how this whole thing has really reminded me that the really important things in life aren’t the big things they are the small every day things like a walk out in the fresh air, a meal out with your loved ones, a good film. A trip to the cinema suddenly felt like a really really special amazing day.
My bucket list has some big stuff on it but it also has some smaller things.
An Easter Sunday with my family able to actually eat an Easter Egg.
A walk on the Malvern Hills. A day out at one of our favourite Castles.
I have had a big reminder to really really relish the small pleasures in life.
Being able to get in a warm bath is a really big deal for me these days so a day out is enormous.
Tomorrow I will have to rest up. But it was totally worth it.