I had my appointment with the Chemo Nurse. It went well. Quick blood test taken to check bloods and a chat. Got my blue book to keep track of appointments and drugs. The nurse was lovely and did laugh at the Minnie Ears.
I did wear them from the car park to the appointment. Did I feel silly ?? Hell no ! I felt brave & bold – and I kept telling myself that every step of the way too. Sometimes when you put that smile on it gets easier to actually keep that smile. It was nice to have a one to one to be honest. She did laugh and say something like “You are going to be trouble aren’t you !” Yes mam I hope I am !! LOL
Why go quietly eh !! Well ok I know it is a bit of bravado too but do whatever it takes to help you face this battle !! It will take strength, courage, humour and it will zap lots out of you so do whatever you need to give yourself that boost. In my case Minnie Ears !! Ha ha
So I also went out with friends after the appointment. Which was a good distraction. We did go to the cinema and had a good old giggle and I feel quite upbeat. I did stop on my way home to just breath for a moment.
Chemo Day is tomorrow. If I let that sink in for a moment I have to recognise the scary thoughts that creep in too. It is the unknown. Maybe after the first time there will be less of those nerves as I will know what to expect but for now – yes it is sort of scary. But hey life doesn’t stop and I still have to get my kids, do baths & get bags for school ready and give them cuddles before bed. For every bit that I am scared and nervous I bet they are too.
So bathed my babies and I gave them cuddles.
I am ready !!
I Downloaded The Greatest Showman soundtrack!!
Bag is packed !!
Hot Water Bottle
tons of other assorted stuff.
It’s like packing for holiday. I have probably over packed but hey ho !!
So what else can I tell you.
Not much lol.
I have not kept any secrets.
There’s nothing hidden.
I have and will be honest.
If you don’t want to hear it or see the emotions or info then please don’t watch or read and I will understand.
But I hope you do.
Every time I take a step in the journey I learn more. There’s a lot I don’t know however and I won’t be able to tell you until I have passed that point in the journey.
You could ask other people …. but remember everyone’s story is different.
I have said it before. I listen to all those stories and I take on board what I can and all of it is appreciated. It’s nice to know you aren’t alone and other people’s experiences cast light on some questions but truthfully I will travel this journey in the way my Cancer dictates, the medical team also have input and I will be me and that will make my journey maybe different to others.
I asked the kids tonight if they had any questions.
My 5 year old daughter asked
1) Will you be able to tickle Cat ? yes
2) Can you wear your jewellery in hospital and treatment – good question! yes
3) Will your hair grow back ? yes
4) Will you clean more ? lol no !
My son asked
Will I be able to stay at Grandmas …. lol
I have awesome kids and I encourage them to ask questions if they want 👍
oh there is one more thing. The nurse looked at my hair and quite honestly admitted that because I have fine quite thinned hair the chances of success with the cold cap are minimal. So she said truthfully I probably will not want to put myself through the extra agony.
I reckon a crop is in order !!
I need glitter hair spray lol
Here is my live video from that night where I stop to take a moment to breath and think on my way home.