Reality bites – nausea

Trying not to vomit.
We all experience things differently.
Some of the people who relate their chemo experiences seem not to react too badly others really endure a tough time.
You don’t know what your experience in anything in life will be until you enter that journey.
In this battle like many health issues you don’t know what your body will have to cope with. In chemo / cancer treatments everyone gets a personalised treatment plan. You have no idea what your dosage will be or how many chemicals and can’t predict the toll that will have on your body.

It doesn’t really matter.
All that matters is that you fight.

All that matters is that you endure.
All that matters is that you choose life.
You don’t know how strong you can be until you have to be.
We can endure so much more than we think.
Stay strong and keep fighting.
Better days are coming.

I truthfully spend about 4 days really really sick. I don’t want to talk to anyone. I don’t want to do much of anything except sleep. I could happily sleep until it’s over.
At the end I am depleted and worn out but got through. Hopefully without a hospital trip.
This is the reality for me.

It isn’t the same journey for everyone.
I have good days but I also have tough ones and it’s ok to acknowledge them.
It’s ok to feel shit and beat up by it. It’s ok to cry. Feel that pain and pass through. Kick it hard and fight strong.
At least I get a few days when I have an excuse to close the door on the world. I rather like that. I quite like the quiet. I like that I don’t care if the dishes aren’t done or the bed is a mess. I might not answer messages or reply to comments. I might just be concentrating on getting up off the floor or trying to get comfortable. My hands and feet have pins and needles. My joints ache and I’m intermittently sweating and chilling. I just want the world to go away but at the same time it’s a comfort knowing people are out there sending me strength. That there are people I can call on if I really need them.
Always positives.


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