Tough Nights & Hats 16th Feb

The nights are hard.

Sweats and then shivers then sweats again.

Awake for ages in wee hrs of morning then finally dropped off to wake up at 10.30 feeling sort of shattered and beat about.

But …… it’s not getting me it just bloody isn’t.

So no sad glum faces. If you message make it kickarse and upbeat because that’s how we roll !! I am stronger than cancer!!

I got this.

It is hard to work out what are normal shit symptoms and at what point you tip over into not normal symptoms.

I think the feeling sick constantly, the shivering, shaking, gut ache and slight temperature are normal. I think you just have to cope with some of this and ride through the worst until the symptoms get easier to cope with. I look forward to the point in these 3 weekly cycles where I finally feel well enough to do more than simply endure. Where my world does not revolve around just trying to eat and keep food down.

To while away the time I read, I sleep and I have borrowed a TV for my bedroom ! Something I don’t normally advocate but right now am happy to eat my words over. I have never before been that ill that I couldn’t just lie on the sofa. But then I never had to endure Cancer or Chemotherapy ! Anyway thank goodness for Amazon Fire Box TV and Netflix. Years ago I might have had to get an electrician in to run a TV Arial. Now I just plug in and off we go ! Fargo on box set here I come.

Tonya O'DonnellMeanwhile I also tried my new hat on. Do you reckon I can rock a hat.

It makes you feel better to put a bit of make-up on and make a bit of an effort. I am totally loving the hat.

The really funny bit is that apart from the hat and my t-shirt I have my funky pj leggings on. Mostly my view is Betty Boo ha ha.

Just had hysterical laugh when went to bathroom and peaked into my bath. Bathed last night b4 bed. Bath looks like someone shaved their legs and left black hairs everywhere…. cracked me up when I realised they are off my head. Round 2 and I suppose more of the hair will come out.

Always a laugh in my world.

So I do feel ropey today but temp is a cool 37.1 which is ok. Yes I am watching those symptoms.

Meds and injection done. Feeling accomplished for just doing that !

Time to snuggle with a book and let the rest of the world outside be busy.

Realising it’s ok sometimes to just accomplish little things because the big fight is all inside is really quite empowering. You don’t have to be superwoman all the time…. I’m doing that just lay down today.

Shared last night’s blog entry on LinkedIn and woke to a whopping 3487 views and a ton of great comments. It was the head shave gallery btw which granted is pretty hysterical.

I think I rock hats ! There’s a good positive ! Planning a collection .

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