15th June 2020. Day 85.

Counting down to this afternoons Govt announcement…. more info for the shielded. Most likely an extension but will wait to see what they actually say. It’s been a rather strange 3 months really hasn’t it. I woke up one day last week having had this strange dream that I had actually been in an accident sustained a head injury, been in a coma and just woken up to realise all this was a mad dream…. nope not a mad dream just mad reality.

12 weeks in captivity – sorry isolation and some people are literally bouncing off the walls screaming to be released like a mad person from a padded cell but I think we have coped remarkably well.

Coping Mechanisms – laughter & tea.

I do have some coping mechanisms for tough days when your mood needs lifting. I started some of these during cancer treatment & have reinforced them during incarceration with my family in 2020 Lockdown.

I am not promising they work for everyone but the key thing here is to do the things that make you happy, give you some peace or release and help you feel relaxed.

We laugh a lot together in my house. We love our family time together. Being stuck inside together day after day, week after week could be stressful so you definitely need ways to cope with the stress of the situation. Some people might be alone and feeling really isolated. That is a different sort of strain.

I meditate. We do mindful colouring or painting, we craft, we paint. I have my sewing which is definitely my own therapy. I also like a hot bath with a bath bomb for luxury. I make it my sort of low budget spa treat. Afterwards it is nice to sit in a fluffy towel & either netflix or read.

There is a lot of singing, dancing & generally messing about. We do a lot of crafting and play lots of games together, sometimes Console games or often board games. I write letters, keep a journal and of course I blog. I found that during my cancer treatment writing my daily thoughts, actions etc down was very cathartic. It stopped all this emotion and thought being too much in my head.

I also love to take time out for the activity of tea. I like a proper pot, good china cups and since it’s time out that I like it feels very theraputic. Often I sit with a book while I have a cup of tea so two of my favourite things together.

Not gonna lie I have not really understood the deep need some people have displayed to break the sensible guidance/ rules just to drive to a park or the deep desire people have to be able to get into Primark or queue in a hot car for a MacDonalds. Not that I don’t miss some of these things, omg a chicken fillet burger would be awesome with a caramel frappuccino & oh I can’t wait to be able to have cocktails & food with friends or a coffee date but I’m ok waiting. I’m not that desperate to risk my health at the moment. That video of someone being intubated really really scared me.

What I do get is that my Grandfather spent 3 years pretty much as a working slave for the Japanese in a concentration camp & he didnt have food never mind Netflix. My grandparents endured lockdown during the blitz often without access to toilets, washing facilities, not able to put lights on etc & no wifi to facetime anyone!

I’m not judging- if you are alone without even a bubble then this last few weeks will have seemed difficult and if you suffer anxiety then it’s a really anxious time but I can’t help wonder at what point we started to become so used to the luxuries of technology & engineering that allow us to travel & communicate & purchase so much that we stopped being able to cope when we don’t have it all. Food for thought.

I do get the need for human interaction. We all love a hug. Well most of us. I have an Autistic son – he is not so keen on hugs.

It was the Queens official birthday & they had a toned down socially distanced band celebration which was great. We sang the national anthem & must confess a small tear escaped at seeing how lovely but quite old she looked.

We discussed whether she would like us in her bubble at Windsor maybe – you know just in case she was a bit lonely for company . We decided it would be nice to live in her castle for a bit but we aren’t jealous of the royal family wealth. My daughter pointed out that people living in refugee camps would be envious of our house & that we were quite lucky really & very privileged to have such a lovely home. I could have just hugged her. I must be doing something right. Privilege is a matter of perspective like so much else in life.

I lost my cool earlier in the week & posted a bit of a clipped rant about stupidity during Coronavirus and how I feel about racism along with other issues that create diversity like sexism. I have done quite a bit of reading & listening to better educate myself. I’m not averse to recognising when my opinion needs altering or I need to know more about something.

Not gonna lie researching racism took me into slavery which took me to antisemitism which took me to Egyptian history and talks of slaves building pyramids which side tracked me into discussions about Akhenaten and whether the God Ra was the beginnings of monotheism and Judaism/ Christianity…. yup dived down a rabbit hole & since I love ancient history I almost ended up signing up for a distance course on Egyptian communication & religion

Mood photographs.

I have started a gallery of mood photos mostly portraits or selfies during this weeks to help talk to the kids about self checking your mood & mental health & being open to talking about how we feel… this ended in Zachary & I playing Lara Croft Temple of Osiris all the way through over 3 days. After all the reading I had done on Egypt this was quite apt.

I decided to watch Marvel agents of shield on Netflix & realised I need about another 3 months of lockdown at least to get through all my watch list & never mind my reading list. I have more books on my Kindle than I could probably read in my life. I better get started.

While the world discusses racism I started reading ‘The Tattooist of Auschwitz ‘. Oh my its brilliant but oh what a truly terrible dark time that was.

So many psychopaths must have reveled in the chance to do awful things and get away with it. It’s on my Kindle paper Weight which is a great gadget. I love real books but sometimes it is so convenient to have an Ereader. Lighter than most paperbacks you can read with one hand and have a cup of tea in the other.

Why is it that mankind has this juxtaposition between the ability to do great deeds, kindness & good & imagine, explore, create & invent but also have this side that can be so evil, greedy, violent & dark? I think I need to research Buddhism- I’m beginning to think Buddha had it right.

Things I’ve achieved during lockdown. Stopped taking sugar in hot drinks Written lots of lettersMade 5 items of clothingSewn tons of masks & scrubsRead 8 books including 1 classicMastered bread makingMastered oat cookiesDeveloped a business idea with my Dad & started work on website etc – more on this over coming monthsHelped Zachary through 2 GCSE English Lit text booksGot a tan hmmmm it’s not been a particularly productive time has it.

Oh before I go here is a terrific fun video of a Chinese couple dancing. They started dancing together to help the husband with his mental health after a really bad car accident. It makes me so happy. I love the dance and music and sentiment. Get your dance on !!

Anyway enough for now. Stay safe, stay well. Be kind, be nice. Save me a hug & see you soon x maybe